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The Trinitas Comprehensive Cancer Center is located at our Williamson
St. Campus.
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SURVIVING THE HOLIDAYS WHILE SURVIVING CANCER
By: Donna Filocamo, LCSW Director of Social Services,
Trinitas Comprehensive Cancer Center
Let's start off with some terminology. Previously, a "survivor" meant
someone who has lived for five years after successful cancer treatment
without signs of cancer recurrence. Today, the accepted definition of a
"cancer survivor" is any person who has cancer from the moment they are
diagnosed. That being said, here are some suggestions to help manage the
stresses and issues that may arise around this holiday season.
It's important to accept that the everyday life of a survivor can be very
stressful. The holiday season will exacerbate some of these stressors, so
it's best to be emotionally prepared. Do not feel obligated to be festive or
try to be all things for all people. The holiday season does not eliminate
the reasons for feeling sad, depressed or lonely and it is not unusual or
abnormal for these emotions to surface at this time of year. Especially if
you are in the middle of medical treatments, your energy level may not
support all the holiday preparations and activities of past years. In
addition, family togetherness and the often unrealistic expectations of a
season filled with picture-perfect, joyful gatherings can cause tremendous
stress for anyone, let alone a cancer survivor.
Coping tips for survivors during the holiday season
- Establish realistic goals and expectations. Don't expect that everything
will be perfect -- the food, decorations, parties, family behavior or
presents.
- If your entire extended family can no longer gather at your house, find
new ways to celebrate together, such as by calling each other or
smaller
gatherings.
- Delegate responsibility to others-- spouse, children, extended family
and
friends. Plan a calendar or "To do list for shopping, baking, visiting
and
other events. Let your family and friends know your limitations.
- To minimize financial stressors, know your spending limit, set a budget
and stick to it.
- Spend time with caring, supportive, nurturing people. Limit the amount
of
time spent with people that are difficult to be around and set
differences
aside. The holidays are not conducive to confrontation.
- Plan ahead--and allow extra time for travel or preparations.
- Learn to say "no -- people will understand.
- Maintain a normal routine, or as close as possible. Try to continue
doing
normal activities.
- Be sure to get enough sleep, or at least rest if sleeping is difficult.
- Regular exercise, even walking, helps relieve stress and tension and
improve moods.
- Don't abandon healthy eating habits. Watch out for the temptation to
eat
junk foods and high calorie comfort foods. However, deprivation
often leads
to bingeing. You're better off having a thin slice of pie with
your meal
than to finish off the entire pie at midnight.
- Alcohol should be used in moderation, not to mask the pain.
- Remember to make time for yourself -- for solitude and relaxation.
- Take things one hour at a time, one day at a time.
- Laughter can be very healing.
- Call, visit, write or email someone who is house bound, or an elderly
relative. Doing something for someone else in need can do wonders for
lifting your spirits.
- Limiting activities or avoiding the holidays may be the best option for
some.
- If your are traveling, bring along any medications, important medical
records, insurance cards, and become familiar with local medical and
supportive resources just in case.
Recommendations for friends or family members of survivors
- Friends and family members should be aware that the survivor may not
wish
to be festive. Take cues from them as to how they want to deal
with the
holidays.
- As caregivers, friends or relatives of cancer survivors, we cannot
change
the situation, but we can acknowledge it, listen and be
supportive.
- Invite the person to join in holiday activities. Even if the answer is
"No," leave the invitation open in case they decide to come at the last
minute.
There is no right or wrong way to handle the holidays. Some may wish to
follow traditions, while others may choose to change things. Don't feel you
must make every single moment of the holiday season memorable. It's better
to limit yourself to a few events instead of drifting from one event to
another, or feeling too exhausted to be able to enjoy any occasion. Plan an
afternoon outing or weekend getaway. Spend some time with someone you don't
usually visit, or perhaps spend time in a new or different setting. Even
daily exercise can reduce stress by increasing energy.
Most of all, take advantage of the holiday season. It's a time to
lighten-up, re-charge and celebrate life.